I hit snooze as soon as the dreaded alarm goes off at 5am. What I would really like to do is throw the phone through the window and stay curled up in the bed, but nooooo, someone has to be an adult today. Why me? Why do I have to do all this by myself? Why, because your a mother and a wife and that’s your job, so get on with it.
Yeah I really feel like throwing the towel in today, not really sure why, but today is just a shitty day for me. I could literally start crying right now and not stop til I go to bed tonight. I’m telling ya, if I still had my uterus the PMS shit would be unreal this month. I had my hysterectomy 5 years ago this past November and I wouldn’t change anything at all about that day, but I do wish that even though the main stuff is gone, I wish it would have taken the mood swings along with it, especially this month. Gosh could you imagine if they ended up taken my ovaries, I really would be a hormonal mess.
I’m just gonna stick with my moods being caused by stress. It struck me this morning due to my damn dog that I took from a friend a little over a month ago. My 10 yr old boxer had passed away and I was looking for a dog just like her. Ended up getting a 6 yr old boxer, which I already have a 1 1/2 yr old, but boy she is driving me crazy. She’s a really good dog, but the shitting and pissing in my house every night while we are in bed is starting to piss me off very bad. Hell my 1 1/2 yr old doesn’t even do that, she hasn’t done that for 8-9 months now, so why in god’s creation should a 6 yr old do it. It’s not like she doesn’t go outside right before we go to bed, usually between 9-9:30pm she is let out and then its bedtime. So who wakes up to picking up shit and scrubbing the carpet to get the piss out, me! Not to mention they have not been very good listeners here lately, you would think they were deaf, but no boxers are just soooo stubborn.
Secondly I have a full time job at work and a full time job at home. No mother whatsoever gets breaks from the real life, and damnit we need them every once in awhile. You work all day then you come home to work some more, cause the dinners aren’t gonna be made them selves, the cleaning is not gonna clean its self and anything else that needs or has to be done won’t wait any longer. But don’t let me stop you, continue on with what you were doing, don’t mind me, I’m just here Adulting it up!
A little of this and a little of that boils down to screaming at the top of your lungs to let all the stress out. You would think that would help out but it doesn’t. Last year I started having neck problems, constant headaches, lower back pain, so I went to the chiropractor to have him fix me all up. Oh nooo I ended up having to make a doctor’s appointment cause my blood pressure was thru the roof, 36 yrs old with high blood pressure.. Calgon, Please Take Me Away! So now who has to take pills the rest of their life, this girl! I thought maybe I could ween myself off of them and try other ways to manage by blood pressure, but I have found out this week that that’s not a good idea, especially with chest pains and heavy breathing, so back on them I go.
I honestly think a day, cause there’s no way in hell I could get 2 days off, of sitting in my room, catching up on all my shows, not having to do laundry, cooking, cleaning, anything would do me a bit of good. This fantasy world that I’m thinking about right now is just that, a fantasy. Snap out of it Trish!!!
So while I’m heading home this evening, crying all the way and trying to figure out what the hell I will fix for dinner, my boys and hubby will be sitting in the living room playing ps4, waiting on my arrival and the expectations of what they will be devouring for dinner. This mom/wife will once again have to stand up to the duties that have been served to her and forgot about all the stress, the hassles of life, the hollering from within the house, the bills, the money, so on and so forth. I have a job to do, so I will grin and bear it.
But I don’t want to Adult today!
Til next time,